How To Begin Your Natural Hair Journey: Shifting The Mindset

This blog post will be all about how to embrace your natural curly hair and embark on your natural hair journey! Before we can start making changes externally, it is important to begin within. This post is part one of a two part compilation piece, that will examine the mindsets that we hold and how to shift them to best align with the life we ultimately want to live. And for some, how to be a better ally. Next week’s post will give tips on how to take action. My journey has been one of the most empowering transformations I have experienced in my life, and I hope the same will be true for you. At about the age of 17, I began to question why I felt the need to constantly straighten my hair every week to fit in with my peers. This was my norm since 6th grade, I would straighten my hair Sunday night and touch it up throughout the week. My hair was fried and dyed by the time I was in 11th grade, and I truly had no idea what my hair texture even looked like, let alone how to find it. I was actually born with straight/wavy hair and once I hit puberty my hair started to frizz (due to lack of styling knowledge) and curl! You can imagine my confusion, thus explaining why heat tools became a coping essential that ultimately ruined my hair. I shared this story because I have been there, and can tell you that it gets better and you will discover a whole new level of confidence, self-love, and self-awareness.

Change The Mindset

The first step is to change your mindset, and unlearn any negative self-concepts you might hold, I urge you to examine how you truly feel about your hair and where these beliefs stem from. I would also like to acknowledge that there are many different hair textures, and no curl type is better or worse than another. Texturism is a very big problem, much like Colorism! This is the idea that looser curls are more desirable than kinkier curls, but when we zoom out at this concept we can realize that this is another way of being oppressed by European beauty standards. I hope that allies reading this post will understand the experiences of women of color in regards to beauty and how many messages in society teach us to hate our hair, skin, and culture. I also want to acknowledge that these issues are so deeply ingrained that they have seeped into communities of color as well, sometimes pitting us against each other. So I would like to remind everyone that there is beauty in our differences and we should never buy into these hurtful ideals that put down others. I understand that within the beauty community, loose curls and mixed women are overrepresented when compared to dark skin women and kinky curls. Not that these factors always occur together, we come in all combinations! I will still share my tips and what I’ve learned because I believe everyone can find at least one thing to connect with no matter your race or hair texture. Much of this is from my personal experience, and I will continue to be inclusive and mindful. I am sure we have all experienced microaggressions involving our hair, and these comments can play a big role in the false concepts we hold about natural hair. Below I have listed some examples of microaggressions you may hold or have heard, and ways to positively shift the narrative! By learning how to debunk these comments, you will eventually stop believing the negative things people have to say.

Microaggressions

"Your hair is so short, it doesn't grow!" : If you are someone who says this, try and take into account the hair goals of the other person. We want to encourage everyone on their hair journey and not make them feel like it is all for nothing. If someone says this to you, try and remember that this is completely false! Everyone's hair grows and hopefully you are doing everything you can to prevent breakage. Shrinkage is REAL! You can use this moment to educate this person on how curly hair works, the kinkier your hair the more shrinkage you will have. However, don't allow people to discredit how luscious and healthy your hair truly is. Short or long, it is still beautiful!

"Your hair looks crazy" : If you are someone who says this, try and examine how European standards of beauty completely dictate the styles that are considered professional and presentable. The fact that laws have just recently been passed allowing people of color to wear their natural hair in professional settings is a major problem. Perpetuating the belief that natural hair is crazy and messy is a threat to one's human right to wear their hair how it grows out of their head, and it is no different than how people with straight hair have that right. If someone says this to you, try debunking this statement by explaining your extensive hair care routine and all the love and work that goes into creating the very style someone is calling "crazy". You look great and you are still professional.

Analyze Intentions & Set Goals

When embarking on a new journey, it is important to identify your true intentions and why this is a change that you want to make. Is it because you want long hair? Because you want to recover your curl pattern? Because you want to connect with your culture? Or maybe because you want to fully accept yourself? Everyone’s intention and journey might be different, and that is okay! For me, it was all of the above. And I want to acknowledge the fact that one can straighten, damage, and relax their hair and it does not always have to stem from a place of self hate or confusion. Unfortunately, in my case it was. We are adults who can decide for ourselves what we want to do with our hair, whether curly or straight, no one should be judged for making these conscious decisions.

Once your intentions are clear, you will know what goal to strive for and can develop a plan of action. An example of this would be, “I want to discover my curl pattern (intention), my goal is to eliminate all straight strands in my hair and be able to wear it natural with confidence (goal), I will achieve this by eliminating all heat tools completely, trim my hair regularly, and stay away from bleach (plan of action)”. Until you reach your goal, I suggest being fairly strict with the new routine. This way you will see undeniable results and this will motivate you to keep going! Once the goal is achieved then you can readjust the journey to fit your long term goals. Initially I thought I would never straighten my hair again for the rest of my life, but after reaching a certain goal I realized that I could maintain my progress while still getting to use heat tools on rare occasions. Once again, it is your journey and ultimately your choice to pick what works best for you in the long run.

Increase Representation

My last tip for shifting your mindset in preparation for your natural hair journey is to normalize textured hair and protective styles! A great way to do this is to use social media to help uplift your confidence. What a concept, I know… I only suggest this step if you are someone who thinks you can see these images without making upward comparisons and putting yourself down. Hopefully these images will actually inspire you and help you see the beauty in your own hair. In our own communities, it may be rare to see people with natural hair, but on social media we get to control what we are exposed to, to a certain extent. So if we see curls all day long while scrolling on our phones, when we walk out of the house we might not feel so different or alone. If Instagram is not for you, YouTube just might do the trick. I am a huge YouTube lover. It played a huge role in my natural hair journey and has educated me on endless hair care and styling tips. Below, I will share a list of some of my favorite natural hair channels I have discovered over the years, links are provided. Some, but not all, of these YouTubers may have a hair texture similar to mine because I am sharing my personal subscription list. This list should include some variety of textures and protective styles and will hopefully start you on the right path.

YouTube Recommendations

• LipsticknCurls

• NaturalNeiicey

• Chime (HairCrush)

• Alyssa Forever

• Sayria Jade

• Symphani Soto

• RisasRizos

• Shameless Maya

• Amanda Walk er

• SunKissAlba

• Luhhsetty

• Minerva Joy

• Shizen Wong

• Nazareth Mendez

• Lana Summer

• Lauren Lewis

• Kenzey Cooper

• Ceira Mi Lunasa

• Heather Banie

• The Find Guru

• Raven Elyse

• Caro Viee

• Ashley Bond Beauty

• Kisha Aaliyah

• Ashley Bloomf ield

• Leximarcellaa

• TheChicNatural

• Franchelli Rodriguez

I hope you enjoyed the read and return next week for part two, how to take action!

With Love,

Meg